It's On...

Today's your day, so come on, bring it on...
I've had a lot of time to think today. Mainly because I've been listening to my music all morning. We had Divine Hours chapel today, which was better than those of the past. I'm not the biggest fan of these chapels, because I don't like being led through the entire service. It's a very traditional time, and I'm not much for traditional worship. I like hymns, but in all other aspects of worship, I am much more contemporary. But before I go into more detail, I liked today's chapel. This is actually the first time I enjoyed it. I think this may because it was geared more towards Lent, and that's how it started out. My favorite part or line, if you will, of chapel today was from one of the prayers that we recited. It went something like, "to fear most the loss of You." It really stood out to me, and got me thinking. I constantly wonder why relationships are such a fragile issue for me, and tend to be the main cause of drama in my life. I don't need to fear losing friends. The only relationship I should fear losing is the one I have with my Creator. He knows me better than anyone else knows me, and better than I know myself. He's the one that wants me to succeed and be happy. He's the one that will care for me, no matter how much I sin. No matter what I do, He will still love me. This is definitely not true of earthly relationships. Relationships aren't perfect, and people get hurt too easily. NOTHING we can do will hurt our God. I'm not one for smooth transitions, so I'm abruptly changing topics again :)

Skillet - The Older I Get
The walls between you and I
Always pushing us apart
Nothing left but scars fight after fight
The space between our calm and rage
Started growing shorter,
Disappearing slowly day after day

Chorus 2:
I was sitting there waiting in my room for you
You were waiting for me too
And it makes me wonder

Chorus 1:
The older I get
Will I get over it?
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I didn't know then it would hurt like this but I think
The older I get
Maybe I'll get over it
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I can't believe it still hurts like this

The time between those cutting words
Built up our defenses
Never made no sense it just made me hurt
Do you believe that time heals all wounds?
It started getting better
But it's easy not to fight when I'm not with you

What was I waiting for
I should've taken less and given you more
I should've weathered the storm
I need to say so bad
What were you waiting for
This could have been the best we've ever had

I'm just getting older
I'm not getting over you I'm trying to
I wish it didn't hurt like this
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I can't believe it still hurts like this

"It's easy not to fight when I'm not with you." I guess this relates to what I was writing about earlier in this same post. Too much conflict exists in relationships. When people don't spend time together, the relationship has a chance to heal. Switching gears again... "The older I get, will I get over it? It's been way too long for the times we missed I didn't know then it would hurt like this." I used to be obsessed with the fact that I never had a best friend. Ya know, the kind of person who you can call at 3 in the morning, and then they'd talk until the sun comes up... Yeah, that never happened with me. I thought I had a best friend in middle school, but the feeling was never mutual. I learned to accept it in high school, but again became frustrated that no one ever reciprocated my feelings. Then, my senior year retreat, I discovered I didn't need a best friend and that Jesus was and is my best friend. He's the one I can call on at 3 in the morning. He's the one that will always reciprocate how much He loves me. I became much more happier. To top it all off, I became closer to one of my best friends. To this day, we're not best best friends, but I definitely learned a lesson. Actually, I have three best friends... It's ok that I'll never have just one best friend, because all my friends are so important in my life. Back to the song by Skillet, as I have gotten older and matured, I'm getting over it. It's nice to be reminded every once in a while to accept the situation I am in. Having one close best friend does not hurt anymore. I give all my thanks to God for this realization...