Some more thoughts...

I just started reading another book entitled, "Victory Over the Darkness: Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ," by Neil T. Anderson (how ironic?). I happened to come upon a poem by an unknown author...

Lend me your hope for awhile,
I seem to have mislaid mine.
Lost and hopeless feelings accompany me daily,
pain and confusion are my companions.
I know not where to turn;
looking ahead to future times does not bring forth images of renewed hope.
I see troubled times, pain-filled days, and more tragedy.

Lend me your hope for awhile,
I seem to have mislaid mine.
Hold my hand and hug me;
listen to all my ramblings, recovery seems so far distant.
The road to healing seems like a long and lonely one.

Lend me your hope for awhile,
I seem to have mislaid mine.
Stand by me, offer me your presence, your heart, and your love.
Acknowledge my pain, it is so real and ever present.
I am overwhelmed with sad and conflicting thoughts.

Lend me your hope for awhile;
a time will come when I will heal,
and I will share my renewal,
hope and love with others.

Backpacking Among Other Things...

Spring break went pretty well... not much happened. Some of the highlights included: going to Winter Jam with Grace, hanging out with Grace and her roommate, celebrating Grace's birthday with her family and Leslie, talking to Kt on Skype, and BACKPACKING!!! I went backpacking with my dad for two days in Morgan Monroe State Forest near Bloomington. We hiked a ten-mile trail, which was extremely hilly. We hiked five miles each day and camped that night. It was near 50 degrees during the day, but got down to 20 degrees that night. Man, it was cold... but a lot of fun. I definitely recommend it over non-primitive camping.

On another note...
I feel like I'm running out of things to say. I've been stuck in this pattern for a while now. I feel somewhat stagnant in life right now. It's just this repetitive and neverending rut...

Until I find more things to say?

Those weather forecasters are a group of liars...

Wow, I definitely have not been using my computer as much as I'd like to. Maybe this will help with my failing battery life. I haven't updated my blog in a while... so here goes.

What to say first? I guess, I've kept my goals for the season. No pop, rare use of Facebook. I really miss Coke at work though. It's been tough, but I know I can do it. Motivation is a wonderful thing. How much motivation is behind my goals though? Just so I can say, "heck yeah, I did it!"? I guess having goals is a good thing. Maybe it's the only way for me to remember to do things, or give them more importance.

My family and I went shopping Saturday... Best thing ever happened... We ate lunch at Chic-fil-a, and Barb asked me about my money situation and my extreme desire for an iPod. Well we got to talking, and I figured out that I could pay my dad back in about a month. I told him that, and he said, "well, let's go get it." JAW DROPPING OCCURS HERE!!! The one thing that I've been wanting for about four or five years, is now MINE! My dad paid for part of it for my birthday, and I'll pay him back for the rest. My life is now complete :) just kidding... but seriously. If you see me in the next few weeks (or years), you are likely to see headphones in my ears, and something beautiful in my hands! Yep, my iPod. It is 120 gigabytes and can hold 30,000 songs, 150 hours of video, numerous pictures, and so much more. I can put my Bing on it! (Bing Crosby, for those of you that don't know me that well) Yep I'm an "old soul" because I love forties music.

On the school side...
I have taken my Psychology test (90 percent, heck yeah!) and my Chemistry test... Two more tests to go, Public Speaking and Cell Biology. So my hectic and crazy life will slow tomorrow at three. Until then, I cannot wait... More Office episodes? I think that that's a possible future activity for me. One thing I cannot wait for... is to move back home. It is such a hassle to transport half of my belongings home every weekend because I work in Fort Wayne. Life is so much easier living in my own room, with no one else to worry about or upset.

So, there's a group of young kids walking outside of my window, I wonder who the heck they are? Sorry for the ADD... :)

I love praise and worship chapels. I love worship with a huge group of people in the dark. No one can see me or hear me, so I am free to sing as loudly as I please. It's much easier to worship freely, when no one pays any attention to you. We sang a hymn (pretty sure that it's a hymn...) called "It is Well." We sang that song at my grandpa's memorial service. Eleven years later, it is still incredibly difficult for me to sing the words. Granted, I only saw my grandpa once a year, but I was really close to him. I wish I would have had more of a chance to get to know him. So, is it well with my soul? Yes and no. God called him home, and so he went. But, I wish I would have had a few more years with him.

I must start (or continue) my studies for my final two tests... until next time... PEACE!
(P.S. it was supposed to reach 75 degrees today, but it is FREEZING!!!)

Procrastination at it's finest...

It's 12:45 AM, and guess what... my speech still isn't written. It's not due until 6 PM tomorrow night, but I don't want to be stressed out all day tomorrow, but at this point, it's inevitable. I was home again this past weekend (yeah I know, what else is new?), and had a pretty good time. I love being home, and especially with my new window drapes, it feels like I have a brand-new room. I cannot wait to redecorate it! So, I am choosing to blog instead of write my speech. At the same time, my eyelids are about to close. I still have not had any pop since this whole thing began, and Facebook is remaining unchecked throughout the day as well. My goals are attainable, but I'm not sure about the amount of substance they contain. As I was telling my friend earlier today, my life is boring. This is not a bad thing, by any means. Life is boring, but I'm incredibly happy. I've got very few worries right now, and not much to complain about. I've become extremely content with my situation, and I'm so looking forward to the future. I don't have much to say to anyone, because I just don't have much to say. For the majority of my life, I've dealt with drama. For the majority of my life, all I've ever talked about is drama. Now that I'm semi-free of drama, I have nothing to say! I don't feel that I have to worry about the world crashing down on me, because I know that I can take it (but only with God's help, of course). Now that I'm finally happy, I need to discipline myself to grow. I don't have a whole lot going on in my life, and now is the perfect opportunity for me to do some serious work on my spiritual life. As I sit here thinking more and more about my speech, the more I need to say adios...