It's late, and I shouldn't be up still. It is the first of my two rough days of the week. I work nearly non-stop from 8:30 in the morning until 10:00 at night. But as I am still up, my mind is running at a thousand miles per hour. I've gotten many things accomplished (seeing as I have a new desk to work on :) ...), but I can't stop thinking about things. Fourth of July weekend was great. I love hanging out with my family, meaning cousins and aunts and uncles (at least this weekend)... I love my family. We had some really good talks, and I heard some slightly life-altering stories. None-the-less, it was a really good weekend, and I've been needing some good-quality family time. Well Sunday I had to work (go figure), and then my dad and I put my desk together. Well, it was almost complete... when I was talking and happened to stumble upon the fact that my mom called my dad last week. The last time I heard from her, she hung up on me because I had a paper to write. Is that fair? No. Was I even given one chance? No. Such is life... So the last time I spoke to her was February 24 or so. I guess she called dad for some information to apply for a passport. WHAT THE HECK?!? She's leaving the country? Who knows, especially not me... Am I furious? Most definitely. Will I get over it? Hopefully, most definitely. I miss her. I miss my brothers (and my dog of course). At least I now know that they're ok.
On another note...
I really miss the time I spent at camp. There were a few fights that I had to break up, fist fights, between girls. Kind of hard to imagine, at least for this girl who has lived in somewhat conservative Fort Wayne all her life, and has never been around ... I don't know what to call it. Calm life? My life is calm, minus my past obviously. So my life was completely hectic during camp, I had a set schedule (which I don't particularly enjoy and contradicts my later statements, sorry :), and I was pushed TO my limits. But life was good. Now I'm back again to my regular routine, and I miss being pushed. I miss having to completely rely on God, because I don't know what will happen next. Maybe that's why I enjoy spontaneity so much. I don't know what will happen next if I'm going through a hard time, yet I learn more in that short period of time than I do in all of my life. Sure my two jobs are both mentally and physically demanding, but they are also incredibly mind-numbing, at least in a spiritual/faith sense. Routine is quickly becoming my enemy. Routine holds the gaps where I might fall when life is "easy." What does it take to live dangerously, with no clue of tomorrow's troubles/joys?
Selfies of Thailand
9 years ago
